Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
