I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
