My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
