Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
