So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
