Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Found your dick twin last night
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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