Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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