So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
