Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
