Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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