If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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