youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
