thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
