Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
