Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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