Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
