What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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