Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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