And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
