Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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