You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
