and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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