Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
