when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
