He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Alive.
So much puke
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
