definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
