Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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