Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
