I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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