she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
