This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
