He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
