You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
