i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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