If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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