Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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