Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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