got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
