It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
