How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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