you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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