Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
try to milk me bitch
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