Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My vagina just clenched in fear
I did not marry a roomba.
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