Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Pants are for mortals
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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