The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
