I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
