seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
