So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
whose ass print is on the piano?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
