Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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