he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he just fucked me for my cheese.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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