HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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